How to Understand Why Boys Dress Up as Girls

In 1982, Erik Erikson completed his book "The Life Cycle Completed," wherein he outlines all eight stages of human development. Erikson helped shape sociology with his comprehensive study. In these steps, he tracked the way individuals change during a lifetime, charting the formative changes during childhood and the more complex changes that occur later in life. You can use Erikson's stages of development as a guideline to begin understanding why boys dress up like girls, and understand why this activity occurs for different reasons during different stages of development.

Instructions

1.      Watch how your children play while they are young. Remind yourself that between the ages of one and two, children begin pretend play. Evaluate your son, if he is between the age of one to three years old, by Erikson's second stage of child development. Encourage your son to experience his world, including pretend play or dress up. If you are concerned, provide your son with more masculine stimuli for him to emulate during his pretend play. For instance, if you see your young son wanting to play dress up in girl's clothes, he is naturally emulating the people he sees and pretending to play the roles to which he comes in contact. So by giving him something different to emulate, you increase the chances that he will behave accordingly.

2.      Pay attention to how frequently your child shows personal initiative between the ages of three to six years old. Remind yourself that between the ages of three and six, children's personal willpower will increase and they will begin making more, and more personal, choices. Avoid directly opposing your son's willful behavior too often. Offer alternatives to unwanted behaviors, rather than trying to outright deny your son his growing will. Study Erikson's third stage of child development for information on these years of your son's life. As an example, if you see your son, from age three to six, dressing in girl's clothes, be aware that Erikson suggests that during these ages a boy is not yet aware of social or gender roles and not responding to them.

3.       Avoid overreacting to your son's desire to dress in girl's clothing between the ages of six to 11 years old. Remember that between these ages, children are developing a strong sense of self-worth and personal self-esteem. Answer your son's questions about the difference between genders, but do so respectfully and avoid shaming your son for asking these questions. Read Erikson's fourth stage of child development, wherein the author identifies the growth of self-esteem during these ages. For instance, if you are concerned about your son dressing in girl's clothes during these years of his life, avoid shaming him or treating him as if what he is doing is wrong.

4.      Watch your son's development between ages 11 to 20. Remember that during these years, children develop their understanding of gender differences and social differences. Discuss gender roles with your son and listen to his reasons for dressing in female clothes. Explain the difference between social expectations and your son's own moral decision-making. Read Erikson's fifth stage of child development, wherein he identifies the confusion that can occur when outside influences manipulate a child's gender development.